Phung

Coming up with activities that work for my 98 1/2-year-old father-in-law is difficult. He has severe dementia, can hardly hear (he has a cochlear implant and a hearing aid), has trouble seeing, and needs a walker to get around. Many resources have been written about activities for people with memory disease and they include crafts, sing-alongs, music therapy, dancing, cooking, gardening, woodworking, and walking clubs.

None of these activities work for Dad. We have racked our brains to come up with activities that work for him. The things we do with Dad take lots of advance planning and we consider:

TIMING. It takes Dad several hours to awaken fully and get his mind working. We have found that afternoon and early evening activities work best for him.

WEATHER. We check weather forecasts ahead of time and make sure Dad is dressed for the weather and has extra clothing.

MEDICATIONS. If we are going to be gone for several hours, or a day, we order Dad's medications ahead of time. We make a list of what he takes and when he takes it.

EXTRA SUPPLIES. As Dad has gotten older his asthma has gotten worse. We make sure Dad has an inhaler with him and extra batteries for his hearing aid.

Dad lives in Assisted Living and has four family caregivers. We coordinate our plans daily and choose activites that match his inerest in nature. Last summer we drove Dad to Lake Pepin, a wide spot in the Mississippi River. Dad enjoyed the half-hour drive through rolling farm land, watching sail boats on the river, and lunch at a riverside restaurant. On the way home we stopped at a farm stand and bought fresh raspberries for Dad's breakfast.

In the fall we took Dad to see a huge wind farm, a 25-minute drive. A steady wind was blowing and Dad could see the turning windmills from the car. We drove around the perimeter of the wind farm. "There must be hundreds of windmills!" Dad exclaimed. On the way home we stopped for lunch at a roadside restaurant and Dad ordered his favorite meal - a hot roast beef sandwich smothered in gravy.

At holiday time we took Dad on a half-hour drive to see the city Christmas lights and neighborhood displays. We planned our route ahead of time so Dad would not get over tired. Dad is so frail now that we did not take him to dinner, but joined him for dinner at the retirement community. Does your one have memory disease? What activities work best? Though you have planned well your loved one may not remember the activities.

Minutes after our field trips, lunches, and dinners Dad has forgotten them. But at that moment -- he is truly living the moment -- he is happy. Dad always says the same thing, "It's wonderful to be with my family." We are blessed to be with him.

Copyright 2006 by Harriet Hodgson

http://www.harriethodgson.com http://www.healthwriter.blogspot.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelance nonfiction writer for 28 years. An eldercare advocate, she is the author of two books on Alzheimer's disease and "Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief," written with Lois Krahn, MD. The book is available from http://www.amazon.com and Amazon has posted a five-star review on its Web site. You will find another review on the American Hospice Foundation Web site under the "School Corner" heading.